life can be so funny at times...
when u want and pray 4 sumthin..it doesnt happen 2 u..but when u r juz about 2 gif up,hope cums chasin after u...
by this time shud u b grateful and take d opportunity or wud u b too tired to chase after tat dream of urs and head on to another direction?
tat truely depends on u..

i've heard stories of similar versions that I wud luv 2 share today..Like all love birds,both Guy A and Gal B were truely madly deeply in love with each other. That is until boy A begin to focus on something else in life...When he did so,he neglected Gal B.I suppose Gal B then started doing things to gain the attention of Boy A but failed. When Gal B tried n tried,she got fed up of it 1 day and decided tat there is no use trying anymore and better off heading on to another direction. So she did and Boy A started missing her presence. It was then that Boy A knew he had to do something or he would lose her.However, it was too late. When Boy A thought bout his priorities and knew tat Gal B was all he wanted, it was too late. Well like all other matters, there is always 2 ways to look at things. Whatever decision Gal B makes,it is seriously up to her.If she leaves Boy A that will be too bad for Boy A or maybe herself. No one knows for sure if the decision is right or wrong.Its juz the perspective you are looking from.
1. Gal B leaves boy A. There is going to be pain for sure..not only for Boy A but for Gal B as well..Everyone deserves to be appreciated. Sometimes its juz too late to appologize :)
2. Gal B forgives boy A. So this may seem like a happy ending. But u'll never know. This mite juz b d beginning of a nitemare.. :)

What happened in d end?well Ive seen people who went for both the options..so theres really no right or wrong..
What is more important is to know what u really want..Once u've made d decision..juz make sure u dont look back n carry on..move on..

p/s:there may be times tat u wished u didnt make tat decision..at those time u may feel a lil stupid and retarded..well juz think of it as a lesson..

sumtimes distance really bring 2 souls closer bt on d other hand,it does creates a lil space in btw 2 souls as well..

its close 2 9 months since i've been apart frm my family..
yest my hsemates and I were juz excitedly talking bout goin home..
on d other hand,1 of them told me tat she was a bit worried bout goin back as well.after all,its been a while since we r away frm home..
wud it still remain d same?
or will v return as our parents grown up mature daughters?
i really dont knw..
bt i was chattin wif my bro d other day...and a few days b4 as well..
I taught hm hw 2 make honeydew sago over d phone..LOL!hw silly and stupid of me 2 waste my credit...well i suppose its also bcuz he is my 1 and only bro and its nt alwiz tat he ask 4 favors like this..so being d sweet n nice elder sis me..i called back a few times 2 make sure he was doin ok.i even text hm a few times l8r 2 check on hw it tasted and d 2nd experiment.LOL!
well good 2 hear tat it turned out well..
in addition 2 that,we started sharin our lil secrets again..this time more of like hm tellin me thing bout hm..
i haf 2 admit i havent been all tat carin over my bro all these while..its nt like i mistreat or dont sayang hm
but juz tat i nvr really asked hm bout hs life..
bt this time i got 2 knw more bout hm and made me realise hw important family is..
eventhou i was all emo and wanted 2 talk 2 sum1 tat day..
it juz made my day hearin hs side stories..
i suppose sumtimes u dun even haf 2 talk but as long as u try 2 at least listen,u r able 2 relief ur stress/emoness..
im really glad tat eventhou d person i truely wanted 2 b rite bside me was not there,god sent me another angel..
an angel who has been there thruout my life..
well i suppose its nt 2 late 2 realise nw..keke..

moreover,i was really thrilled listenin 2 high sch luv stories...hw happy and xcited 2 new love birds cud be..  :)
i sincerely wish them all d best and cant wait 2 see d gal in person... LOL!

Being in a relationship means so much more than juz 2 persons being in luv...

Being 2gether takes courage..
this means u'll fight thru rainy storms and scorching sun wif tat 1 person.
so u 2 can go thru dif phases in life..let it b happy or sad moments...
theres no alwiz happy moments..this is life so u'll juz haf 2 deal wif it..

then there comes responsibilities...2wards urself n ur partner cz nw its nt juz bout u n ur ltl world..
its bout ur partner's feelings too..
In other words...i call this commitment..
being commited means its a 24/7 thing...it means being ard 4 d person no matter wt it takes..
its nt when u wana b there then u'll b there and u dun haf to when u dont want to..
wts d point of being wif sum1 who only wants 2 b there 2 enjoy happy moments 2gether?
so wt happens when d worst strikes one day?r u gona run away n nvr come back?
after all...only sum1 who has been thru thick n thin wif u shud b d person tat u can trust 4 ur life..

being independent n havin separate lives..
i do respect tat every1 needs their ltl space n privacy...
bt is there really a line btw wantin 2 b cared for and being independent?
if there is..i wudnt knw where 2 stand..
despite believin tat i am an independent daughter,i fail 2 b an independent gf.
i need attention..i want attention and therefore i seek attention..
mayb sumtimes i try 2 hard tat it juz dissapoints me..
despite being 21,i still dun seem 2 knw wt r privacy..mayb bcuz mine has nvr been intruded..
so me being in my ltl wonderful world,i dun think there r anythin 2 hide and prefers 2 head d truthful way..


well i mite nt knw wt im sayin bt tats wt i wana say...after all,my brain is all drained up after readin thru 3240832497235 mcqs 4 BCH!

g2g gt sum rest for a long hardcore day of studyin 2ml...

i dled this song but i didnt really gif it a go til i was 2 bored sitting in front of d pc and found d song..so I played it together wif sum other songs in deserted as well...
then suddenly it juz hit me and reminded me of sum1...sum1 whom i love n miss deeply.
really sorry tar i wasnt there for her moz of this year.promise 2 make it up 2 u once im back.k?
so this song is dedicated to ms jolene anne baptist...
"So What-Pink"
gif it a go darling..its a noisy cum stupid lyics songs but sumhw i juz find it amusing..mayb u'll gif it a laugh after listenin 2 it cz i did.keke..
u knw u r a rockstar darling...
u'll alwiz haf ur rock moves..
u never need him and will not too..
once im back..we'll haf all d fun and show hm wt he missed out.. :)

愛不疚(love w/o regrets..)

Hiding within my vision, always lingering beside, can guess love is not present
After happily playing & laughing, and be able to totally retreat; as long as you are happy it’s enough.

This kind of feeling is too loving & warm; to speak a thousand phrases would be insufficient.
What if you were to hear it and afterwards leave
This kind of love is too rare, doesn’t need to completely possess
Giving approval, give (my) blessing wholeheartedly, then let go.

Let go, let go of everything, both will have greater freedom
Let go; in fact it’s not because I do not love enough
Let go, let go of everything without reserve, will still have a good friend
It’s already, already enough.

From a distance, in the background of “universal silence”, just observing is enough.

This kind of feeling is too loving & warm; to speak a thousand phrases would be insufficient.
Even though there was an instant, on impulse where I wanted to hold your hand
This kind of love is too rare, doesn’t need to completely possess
Even with heaviness of heart, (it’s best) to let go.

Let go, let go of everything, both will have greater freedom
Let go; in fact it’s not because I do not love enough
Let go, let go of everything without reserve, will still have a good friend
It’s already, already enough.

Let go, my memories (of you) cannot find an ending
Let go ! Wish you will have happiness & everything.
Maybe, love is very deep, but I have already seen it through
Can only possess when (you) let go.

let it go,if its yours..it'll alwiz come back 2 u!
wt is meant 2 b will alwiz find its way..

yummy breakfast cooked by d darling..
-raisin toast wif kaya n butter-
-scrambled egg-
-2 hams & a sausage-
-fruit juice-

hearty breakfast 4 two.. :)

me n my breakfast..wakaka...

:)

my cute china dolly hairstyle..


us @ East Cafe



breakky 4 d nex morning by d sweetheart again..
this time wif
-sandwich wif fry egg,ham,sausage,cheese n ketchup-
-corn by d side-
-nicely decorated sausage by d side-

my greedy face wif my curry laksa..*slurps*

me n my fav unagi..

dry wantan noodle wif char siew any1?keke..

*lurves*

me n green tea snow ice wif red bean..

our scrumptious meal-roti canai,man tau,curry chic,stir fry vege-

hubby n wifey in action 2gether=super yummy dinner

mango sai mai lou... :)

us @ d park

us wif d ferris wheel...(remember d proposal thingy i told u?*hinthint*)

stir fry noodle wif ham n sausage..

stir fry spaghetti wif char siew

ur bearlied bday blueeberry cheesecake

pancakes 2 end d trip...


i mwiss brissy damn lotz but i mwiss u even more darling.. :(

Im startin 2 hate this time of d year...laz year i've been hit by a major breakdown and this year im suffering from a major loss...sum1 who has seen me grown up 2 b who i am 2day..
all those time u';; call me 'tai ngan pok'-big popped out eyes..
'tai lek sei'-big arms mucles and i'll sillyly run 2 u and pull up my sleeves and show u my muscles..
those time u'll bring me out 4 roti canai and teach me hw 2 eat ur fav mutton curry...
then u slowly turned in2 a more grumpy grandpa..
then u had ur major operation which made all of us worry...
tat was d time v all knew u'll b goin soon bt god has granted us more time...
not only 4 u 2 see all of us grow but 4 us 2 take responsibility 2 taekcare of u as well..
it's so farnee hw sumtimes u cudnt recognise us but moz of d time u do recognise me.. :)
all i wana say is i'll miss u grandpa and may u rest in peace...

luv,
yen sun

so many things have happened recently..
its like i've been livin my life on a roller coaster when it brings me up so high and then i go all d way down and then up again and then down again...its like a repetitive cycle..its like hapiness was not permanently stickin wif me.
at this point of life,i've realised how important family is to me but then nw there exist another issue..friends vs bf..
in life v will meet crossroads n sometimes u haf 2 make big decisions..but what if both choices are important 2 u?it seems 2 me nw i've been making many wrong choices..im nt really sure bt d choices that i've made would prob nt b d choices i wud haf made long time ago..a long time ago,i would pour myself to hm and neglect d other beautiful things which evolve around my life.now tat i changed my perspective and dedicate some time 2 my fellow mates, things are getting worst as well.why does it has 2 b so hard 4 me?nw im gona make another big decision in my life which is 2 revert back 2 d person i use 2 b.d clingy lil gal..lets hope this decision would b d rite 1..*prays*

i suppose people grow with time.
i use 2 cry when im sad
now i dont do that anymore..its not that it doesnt hurt that much nemore..
its juz that i dunwana show my shallow eyes and show how weak i am to everyone anymore..
it makes people worry..it makes ppl sad..it makes ppl cry wif me as well...
and it hurts me as much when i see them do that..
so nw i haf a new thingy...
i realise when im sad,i like to CLEAN up stuffs..
let it be clearin my folder,vacummin my room,washin bowls n plates..theres only 1 thing that i've not cleaned up yt..d TOILET!!!so i basically cleancleanclean til i get too tired 2 think of anythin.then get in2 bed..its juz another way 4 me 2 find an escape route i suppose..

Sometimes when ppl walk out of ur life,theres only 2 outcomes:-
1)U realise u r better off without tat person
2)U realise u cant live a day without tat person
I know a lot of people loves and cares a lot for me.All of u were good listeners,good advisors and really good friends..i dunno wt i'd b w/o u ppl.
But all i know nw is he's really all I need..
I dunno where d path leads us from here..
But I've asked myself and this is really what I want..
Im sure all of u will support me..
but still i would like to thank all of u 4 alwiz being there 4 me..

My mom wasnt tat typical mom who would sit down early morning to tie up my hair before i go 2 school but she was definistely 1 of the best moms ever.She is sum1 who understands my needs and constantly giving me advices on life.I alwiz tend to look at things by the way she leads her life.Through her experiences with her family, friends and past relationships,I've learnt a lot from her. Today was 1 of those days again where I'd be her lil gal who crawls back in2 her arms in tears. Like all mom, she shielded me from my fears. This was what she told me:
BE STRONG.EVERY1 HAVE TO PASS THROUGH PHASES LIKE THESE AND THIS IS WHEN THEY GROW UP.JUST LIKE ME N UR DADDY.WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND THATS WHY WE'RE SO STRONG.AND NOW ITS UR TURN.U R OUR DAUGHTERS AND IM SURE U CAN DO D SAME!
i've heard d 1st 2 words frm d gals bt it didnt haf such a huge impact compared to when i was being told by my mom. I really miss her a lot.All of her..her high pitch voice, constant naggings and her sudden screams..

I have no idea hw 2 put in2 words hw im feeling nw..
Im ok for a minute bt I gt all emotional the next..
I really dont wish 4 this feeling 2 haunt me nemore..
I need to grow and be better in time..

This shall remind me 2 be stronger!
It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'ma be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'ma be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: x2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Woke up early 2day.wasnt wt i had plan initially..but juz woke up automatically so i was juz randomly sitting in frt of d comp.nt knwin wt im actually doing..I feel so lost like I've gt no directions..
I wanted 2 go 2 d gym bt i dunno wt time i shud gt goin
I wanted 2 finish up my work bt I didnt knw which 2 start with
I wanted 2 eat bt I dont knw wt shud i eat...
gosh..y muz v make so many decisions in life?
so i started doin a bit of work in which i totally did not understand.argh....
then headed 2 d gym...was feelin all tired and i've had sum heart ache and vision problems lately.
will haf them check soon i suppose..plus d optometrist and body check up are all covered by my OHSC so mite as well.keke..
so i was on d treadmill for bout 18 minutes and i've wanted 2 stop then they played "Better In Time" by Leona Lewis.gosh..I've been trying to get all these issues off my mind bt it has to come hunting me..there was this sudden discomfort feeling..
All these relationship issues...it seems to get more complicated when u gt older..
I've put down my past and started a new life and begin 2 think tat things will gt better..
Once Im gtting all d confidence back again,things seems 2 gt harsh on me again..
Fine..I try 2 not think too much bout it.But somehow it juz seems not right like Im trying 2 ignore it and living in a total lie.
I try 2 distract myself with other things but I'll juz b ok for that short period of time but when Im all alone,my thoughts start to wander again...
How can u b so ignorant?
How can u b so cool bout everything?
How can u not miss some1 u claim 2 love?
How can u not answer a simple question of whether u still have tat same feeling?
How can u suddenly act so strangely like I dont know u at all?
What happened to us?
Will it really get better with time?

was wide awake 5 am,7am,10am...

I cant blieve what I act did.When u miss some1 so badly,sometimes d things u do can be really ridicuolous...
As i open my luggage and hung ur clothes up,I dunno wt i was trying 2 do..
Was I trying 2 create a scene that u r still close 2 me..a deception 2 convince myself that everything is fine when it seems not 2 me..
The smell of ur clothes after a few washes still smells like u..
Now im holding ur bottle of parfum rite in my hands..openin its cap and trying 2 gt a sniff of u..
It smells juz like u and i miss u even more..
What has gone into me?
I told myself to be stronger.I tried..its nt tat I never..
But reality pulled me back and d thoughts of us can never leave me..
I typed a 4pg long sms 2 u bt u didnt reply.I sent u I MISS U msges all over hoping tat u'd come 2 realise hw much I miss u...*i really do*
Plz tell me this is nt happenin..I'm having this really insecure feeling bout us.like history will once again repeat itself.like i'll haf another major breakdown...
PLEASE TELL ME ITS NOT!

i haf sudden craving 4 msian food.cz I juz read d bestfriends blog n she mentioned WILLIAMS!!!!!!
argh....*stomps feet*
well at least there was this multi-cultural thingy these few days in monash..I had teh-si-peng 4 d 1st time in my life...n I act luved it..esp d bottom layer where there's gula melaka...hahaha...i told my Macau friend bout it and she was like..hrm..wts gula melaka and i took 1 minute 2 figure out tat its brown sugar.hahaha!-hw embarassing-
2day was d laz day n i tried lotsa dif kuihs tat i truely miss...2 bad they didnt haf ondeonde...aihz...and then there was these really tasty dumplings frm chung hwa society and sum fried porkballs which reminded me of sumthin back in high sch...
i think it was called satay cucuk or sumthin..it was really cheap and this uncle would be on his motorbike.then there's this small lil place where he's grill his tasty chicken skewers..then there is these yummy sweet chilli sauce...*yumyum*i still remember ppl use 2 spread rumours tat there were so tasty cz they were cat meat.hw ridiculous.hahaha!
ok g2g gt sum sleep.havent been gttin enuff n proper sleep these few days... nitez..
SMILE 2 D WORLD AND D WORLD WILL SMILE BACK AT U! :)

i read an interestin article 2day when i was in gym..
sumtimes u tend 2 haf tat thinking that u cant live w/o some1..
u'll think tat if u lose that person,u'll start to lose urself as well..
u'll think tat he'll luv u like no1 else will ever do..
self deception?low confidence?
well no matter wt it is that causes u 2 think like this..
d best way out is 2 haf d hardest thing cum knockin on2 u...
tats d only way u'll realise that its alrite..FINALLY-u can face d reality
U CAN MOVE ON!
its alrite 2 b alone..
moral of d story-dun trust ne1 xcept 4 urself
-blieve in urself
-dun b afraid 2 face sumthin that u knw would b cumin even if its d worst scenario

p/s:i dun juz blog when im emo..blerk :P
btw...super happy 2day cz i did tonnes of work and my hsemate boiled me nice yummy soup..
feel so blessed all of a sudden. :)

people walk in2 ur life and ppl leave..
u talk bout ppl,ppl talk back bout u..
wt goes around around.comes around i suppose...

but sumtimes in life,when u've put so much effort in sumthing.u dont alwiz gt d same results back..

I havent had this failiure feeling since a long long time.I remember when was d laz time I've had it..It was all d way back in Std 6.nw im feeling exactly the same..afraid of being a failure bt theres nuthin I can do bout it but juz wait 4 it 2 happen...

In my life,I blieve that as long as I've tried as hard as I can,I'll make it through but sumtimes things juz dont happen tat way.U could have spent 3 days doing an assignment and some people might juz have spent 3 hours doing it but u 2 juz gt d same grade..so much 4 putting so much effort in2 sumthing..

Every1 haf their own way 2 search 4 their own hapiness...

sum ppl wud juz wait 4 d time 2 come
sum ppl wud look high n low each n every corner 2 find it
sum ppl wud nvr try
sum ppl wud try so hard
sum ppl wud juz gif up
sum ppl wud nvr gif up

as for me..i wud fight 4 sumthin til my last breath when i knw its worth it..
no matter hw hard it takes

u can nvr predict d future..
u'll nvr knw wt will happen d next minute
so y nt live d best out of it..do d best u can and haf no regrets!:)

due 2 my superemoness yest..i dcided 2 lock myself in my room..tried 2 b strong n solve things myself..i dunwana let ppl knw hw much i cry..or hw weak i am nemore..so i juz watched a walk 2 remember n practically cried durin every scene..

then it came 2 my senses tat miracles dun cum by itself..u haf 2 make it happen..u've been a miracle 2 me and its my turn 2 b ur miracle..

I cant blieve wt i did 2day...I dunno wt I was thinkin..I juz knew I cant live w/o u..
I juz knew u r very important in my life..Im 2 scared 2 loose u..
all i wanted was 2 hug u tightly and tell u hw much u mean 2 me..hw much i want us 2 happen..hw important u r in my life..i truely dunno hw much worst obstacles r gona lie in frt of us..bt all i knw is im nt gona gif up on us..nt b4,nt nw,nt in d future...

i think 2day i did d mos courageous thing in my life..1 of d biggest decision i've eva had 2 make..1 of d moz random thing too i suppose..keke..bt im glad i did... :)